Love is in the subtle details

Difficulty +1 if you know what I mean.

I know I haven't

Have you ever NOT had something better to do?


...


Seriously? I wonder how often I EVER do the absolute most valuable use of my time...


The thing is, it's all subjective because it depends on how you define "something better" or "use of time"... and who better to decide that than you yourself?

If I was allowed to choose what I considered the absolute most valuable use of my time it would be the moments when you're closest to other humans. I don't really mean physical, just like when you're bonding or simply enjoying one another's company; laughing, talking, starting a bunch of silly inside jokes... all that.

I know I haven't.

Not in a long time.

I think in Heaven, these are the things that will matter.

Tricycles... lots of them.

I was just thinking about all the times I'm the third wheel and how I always think to myself something like this:

If only I had a girlfriend, this would be a double date. Double dates sound like fun.... too bad...

If and when I ever meet a girl worthy of me (and by that I mean one who can somehow tolerate all my bullshit) then these are the couples I hope to go on double dates with or just hang around with:

Wesley and Amanda
Daniel and Heather
Daniel and Malia
Landon and Sarah
etc....

next entry I'll talk about the phrase "I've got better things to do" hahah, what a joke...

Robots, Sots and Cosmonauts

Designer dreams
Tailormade by moonbeams
Just for you
And your mindcontrol moodrings

Crisscrossed skyways
Fading to white haze
try to feel
and reach past cognitive sine-waves

humans stop dreaming
lights and eyes still blinking
the line blurs
as machines do the thinking

binary streams
that were made by the beings
just for once
robots pursue their dreams

Rethinking the L word

After thinking about my lousy attitude of "no such thing as love" I've realized that I'm the one who's full of crap. Love is not the one that's bogus, I am.

Think about it this way. It's not that love doesn't exist, it's just that it's a stranger to me. What I had met before was something that claimed to be love, but was really just a poseur.

I have learned a lot, but still don't claim to know it all, not even a small fraction.

But from what I've experienced I've come up with a few pointers to myself.

-Be cynical. There's nothing wrong with questioning something you're unsure of, especially when it's so important.

-It takes time -lot's of it- for love to form. It grows slowly.

-It's not all about happiness... it's more about something artistic and beautiful.

-It can change, it can't lie, but it isn't rigid.

-It's not an emotion. I have no idea what it is, if anything.

-Love is difficult; difficult to find, difficult to keep, difficult to interact with. That's why it is work and why it hurts.

-Love makes no sense. It doesn't. None of the above is correct probably.