Nosferatu Nightmare-Key

(This is me btw...)

Fake and Flagrant

I've been realizing what a fake I am. I'm too afraid to live my own life and be real to anything at all. This drivel I've been wading through is not the original intention. I lost sight of it the moment I set out. Despite -or maybe because of- my quest to pursue something productive I've devolved into the mediocre heap of meretricious and shallow wannabe-dom that is me.

There. That's as real as I can get and even that has like three thesaurus references and almost zero explanation of what I'm actually supposed to be going on about.



...ehhh...

So-called Nightmare Key.

I don't know what I am.

I am described by these words

Wha'ever that means.

The things that I let slip

"I'm not into labels"

I let that slip the other night. What does that even mean? Really?

Did I mean I don't believe in labels? They exist, there's nothing not to believe about their existence. I don't believe their relevance/validity/verity? Maybe. Let's dive deeper. (Yeah, like I'm going to succeed at getting "deep")

*poops out a generally typical, and rather boring blog entry about concepts and viewpoints of labels*

Mainly I guess it's just that I don't know what I am.

So-called Terrors

I'm emo.

7*5*3*2*2=?

If I was the government I would make a law so that marijuana would be temporarily legal for one year. And then at the end of that year revert all laws and enforcement to the way they are now.

That would clear everything up. One side would have a solid year's worth of hard evidence and the other would be forced to shut up. If the world was indeed a better place during that year, like those who support NORML claim, then the legalization would be fully implemented.

Nobody loses.

Social Terrors

I'm caught in your gravity well.

The same story a thousand times

The broken heart, the pain, the turning inward, the confusion, the distrust.

Then the day comes when it seems like there might be a chance to feel alive again. So you take it, and it works... for a while. But, soon enough, the process starts all over again...

The broken heart, the pain, the turning inward, the confusion, the distrust.

If it wasn't for love there would be a lot less pain.

...What a poisoned way to think.

Shaken up to get my head straight

It's good to get derailed from crappy everyday life. It helps to look at things from a different perspective. I like don't have anything deep to add... I just need to remember to keep my chin up, there's beauty and color in this world, but you'll only see it if you're looking up!

Blood Haunting

Gggghhhhh... I feel like crap. Sorry to always be complaining about stuff but... yeah. I'm not supposed to be this way. I'm supposed to have friends. I'm supposed to not have a readerless blog. I'm supposed to do things in life that please those I love.

Infinite Enthalpy of Malevolence

Pure, pent rage to the core feeds the beast within.
Roaring havoc echoes off ghastly graveland plinths
If there is one single speck of light in this world
I ask only that my soul may shed its skin
and escape being consumed by the hatred,
by betrayal, by the bitter sting of being alone.
The absence of love is desolation and hate.
Hate holds forbidden power and destruction
I've never felt the kind of misery I feel right now.
No matter how hard I clutch it keeps spilling out.
My eyes are red, my heart's mere wreckage
desperate for something to bring me out of this

---

It's not really like that, though. I'm so confused as to why I write this sort of drivel-poop. I really don't feel that way, in a sincere and heart-felt way. I mean sure, I have my moments, we all do. It's like I'm conflicted. I want to be happy, easy going, and nonchalant. But somewhere along the way something broke, and now almost every day my world is torn apart. I just don't get it! I know I'm not the king! I get that! What gives?

Splish Splash

I drink a lot of water. I keep downing the stuff like there's no tomorrow. I try to wash away the dirt inside, but water will not erode at the banks of evil.

I need a large cup of ice-cold Jesusade.

Sometimes I wish figurative and literal worlds could be mashed together... Or the spiritual was as tangible as the physical.

I Gon't dive a gamn

Usually when I start writing I just try to make it better than the last one. So I usually look back at my last thing I wrote. Then I'm like, "oh, this will be easy" and write another lugubrious blog entry.

Now I'm gonna talk about love. Or things you want but cannot have. My eyes were pried open for a fleeting moment, and a splinter of light invaded my dark mind. It illuminated a thing I've been coming to for a long time; My blatant self-centered view of relationship. It's just awful, truly sickening, a dastardly perversion of what should be vibrantly beautiful. What I need to do is give love.... give love another chance. And not waste it on a 'last ditch effort' sort of situation, but to love everyone I possibly can, in every way I can think of, regardless of what I can get out of it!

I don't understand the world

Why do some people have to be fat-asses, huh? What is their motivation in sculpting their bodies into amorphous health-wrecks, convex entities of cellulitis inflicted flesh?!?!
I just don't get it. Getting fat takes a long time, specific habits, a blatant disregard for what is happening...

It makes me sick! I am revolted by those who invade my ocular senses with their beastly anomalous perversions of the human form.

There. I said it.

And this is what's more... This is why it is so bothersome to me: I generally like people. I'm even attracted to many of them for many reasons. Usually those reasons pertain to the personality of the person... and if the person that I admire has let themselves devolve into a fat nightmare.... I lose respect for them, and I feel that they aren't getting the most out of life, and I worry about their health/physical well-being, and I (quite selfishly) can't enjoy them to the fullest because they look super ugly.

That said, there are slight exceptions. Like if you're old and you get a slight beer belly, I'm cool with that, as long as it's not overblown. (as long as you don't have to waddle just to be able to walk XD )

It also comes down to whether a person is approaching or receding from the fulfillment of their potential. If one is willing to totally waste the earthly body given them, then will it be different given a heavenly body?

Simply Dumb

If you're still reading this blog then you've probably acquired a taste for my minimalistic, not-thought-out-at-all blurbs about whatever silly thing pops into my head.

If you're new to the blog, then Welcome! and I hope you'll enjoy my stupendous intellect and other thingamabobs that I offer as a first-class blogger.

(Ok, maybe eighth or ninth-class...)

look at that! A Nigma!

look at that enigma.

Words that are approximately legible

I tried. Really I did. It was dumb so forget it. Be literate. If nothing else, I've got that going for me.... probably.

The end of an era may be near to me. I don't know if it will move forward from this point, or go backwards. It looks like it might just go backwards. As if that were still possible. Why is it that empires end right at their height? Infinite volume control. No bridge can span forever.

What's the point of having so many letters?

In my next two entries I will switch out all the:

B's for P's
D's for G's
Hard C's for K's and soft C's for S's
Z's for S's
X's for KS's
J's for G's
French words for non-French words.
O's for ER's
V's for F's

It will pe harg ter ungerstang. Herpefully nert ter pag. Serme letters are gust gump ang gern't geserfe ter eksist. This is my eksperiment in language. Hafe fun?

Waiting for things...

Waiting for something you want... is a complex process.

It gets harder towards the end. The anticipation has built; the end is near... time slows. The last few days are the longest of the whole wait.

It is unbearable.

OMG I'm pregnant

I just found out like 2 seconds ago that I'm pregnant! I didn't even know I was a girl.