Today I had the repetitious and unmistakable feeling that there is simply no one for me. I feel very strongly that I won't be able to trick my heart into opening up to anyone ever again. It is rather dismal and leads to sudden pangs of angst, but simultaneously I'm relieved of worrying about trying to "get a girl".
I zone out more, and leave this reality in search of one where the above is no longer true, because something deep inside me still -still feels the need to persue the destruction that inevitably comes of all notions of love in this age of distortion, distance and dissonance...
I'm not usually this bipolar. I thought I was better... but I guess not.
I contemplate why, but it's always different versions of the same answer... I'll attempt to put it into words at a later date.
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